a disturbing thought

I had a wierd thought last night, after I took my third clomid dose for this cycle. AF was wierd this time around- only one real day to it after four days of the usual preamble. It was also 2 days later than the last one, which was 2 days later than my norm before sperm entered the equation. This all made me wonder- could I be pregnant and not know it? I took a HPT at 30 days and AF (or what I assumed to be AF) began at 32, so maybe the BFN was because I tested too early. In any case, before I pop another clomid in my mouth, I'm going to POAS just to make sure. I need some empirical evidence to back up the complete lack of symptoms.

That said, we went out last night with some friends who are aware of our procreative efforts and stumbling blocks. Before we'd filled any of them in on the details beyond "we're trying," C and I had purchased the donor sperm that we've used thus far and will use for the current cycle. One of our friends seems intrigued by the process of selecting a donor and asked if she could help us "shop" for the next attempt. I'm not unhappy with my lucky #18, and really don't want to change even though the first try didn't succeed. And maybe November really will be our month and the whole point will be moot. I'm not sure if I find it strange or encouraging that this friend wants to help choose a donor. Then again, it's wonderful to have friends who care so much about us.

I'm going to the drup store now to buy a HPT. Don't expect any news.