Thursday, July 23, 2009

is angst a symptom?

Morning commute. Speed limit on secondary road is 45. The guy ahead of me is gawking at something off to the left, ambling along at 35 mph. I rejoice when he finally pulls off into a coffee shop parking lot, but my joy is short-lived as an 18-wheeler pulls out in front of me in the break created by slow-man exiting the road. Long, slow hill... adds at least 4 minutes to my commute (time is precious, isn't it?). Not a happy drive. Just annoying.

Arrive at work just as irksome co-worker pulls into the spot that I usually park in. When I began parking there, no one, and I mean that quite literally, would park in that little slice of the parking lot except me. It's an area that's well-shaded from about 2:00 on, so my car isn't a thousand degrees inside when it's time to leave work (I do not have a/c). At the same time, there are no trees or branches directly overhead, threatening to fall on my poor li'l vehicle in stormy weather. It's further from the front door than most spots, but I like the walk. But once I'd been parking there for six months or so, co-worker decided that on days when she arrived before me, she'd park where I like to. But not quite IN the parking space... no, she can't seem to maneuver her mid-sized SUV completely between the lines, so her front tire is always on the line separating that space from the one beside it, which is my default spot... still shaded after 2:00, but not smashed against the bushes that flank the only other spot in that small area. So I park, perfectly centered in my space for the day, and it's a tight squeeze to get out of my car.

If I'd not gotten stuck behind slow-man and lost those 4 minutes, I could have parked happily in my usual spot and co-worker would have parked where she used to park before I got her thinking about trying something new. Grrr.

My office-mates and I were planning to take two colleagues to lunch today to celebrate their birthdays, so I did not bring a lunch. I ALWAYS bring my lunch. I NEVER go out to lunch (except when we're taking colleagues to celebrate birthdays, 5 times a year). C and I go out to eat maybe once a month. Our "eating out" budget is puny, and I'm not about to waste any of it on lunch when a simple tomato sandwich is pure heaven to me. Speaking of which I have two huge tomatoes waiting to be sliced for sandwiches. They're perfect, and that's what I would have brought today. The husband of one of the birthday girls is unwell. B-day girl may not come to work today, in which case we're postponing lunch. Dammit. I can't justify going out and buying a lunch today and then having to go out again in the next week or so for the birthday thing. So, lunch today will consist of two granola bars, an apple, and a yogurt. Great. Just great. I could've had a tomato sandwich.

I know the world doesn't revolve around me. Four minutes is nothing in the grand scheme of things, and parking is first-come first-served. I'm sorry that birthday-girl's husband is ill, and I hope it's nothing serious. But I feel like crying and yelling and I just want to go home because I've only been out of the house for an hour and nothing has gone well. Is this pregnancy?


Anonymous said...

Is this how you would usually react? Or is this different for you? I could imagine you might be feeling more anxious than usual, so little irritations might be more intense.

IrishNYC said...

Indeed it is pregnancy! It gets worse as you near the end. I recently stared down a guy who dared rev his engine at me as I waddled through a crosswalk. I stopped, looked him in the eye, and said "Really? REALLY?" He yelled at me to walk faster, and I replied, "Well now I'm not walking anywhere, am I?!" and I took my time looking at my watch and inspecting my nails before waddling off.

When I described it to some friends, they said, "Oh yeah, you've got 'the rage'."

So, yes, you are indeed pregnant!