no worries

Things are going well, but with obvious room for improvement. The c-section incision continues to be the least of my worries. The bloat has eased a bit, or maybe I just got used to it. Now, my attention has shifted to my incredibly swollen lower extremeties. If I sit with my feet up, way up, for an hour or so, I can then walk comfortably for about 10 minutes before my feet and ankles return to elephantine proportions. I was walking down some stairs yesterday when I felt a popping sensation and then saw one of my toes visibly swell before my eyes. Until then, the swelling stopped at the base of my toes, but now everything from the knees down is fair game. My calves are rock hard and I can't imagine squeezing into a pair of shoes right now. We'll start all the doctors' appointments next week, so I still have some time before I need to wear shoes or venture outside. But tomorrow is supposed to be warm and glorious, so I will try to rig something tonight so I sleep with my legs elevated in the hope that will kick the day off with minimal swelling.

Charlotte hasn't shown any signs of what I'd call jealousy, but she's incredibly needy and breaks into tears at the drop of a hat. She likes to hold Maggie on her lap and give her kisses. She points out Maggie's "little baby eyes and nose and ears and hands and fingers and baby toes." She cries in the morning because I won't lift her out of bed, and C's nerves and patience are wearing thin. I got a little daring yesterday and held Charlotte, picking her up from her changing table. No actual lifting involed, and I didn't walk while holding her, but it sure felt good to give her a big hug. Today, I had her climb onto a chair and then I helped her "jump" into her high chair from there for breakfast. I think I should be OK picking her up from the floor in a few more days. Once I can do that, and the swelling goes down, and I'll be self-sufficient enough to give C a break when he needs one.

He's not used to dealing with a toddler all the time, and I'm afraid this situation isn't the beautiful bonding experience he was hoping to share with Charlotte. My patience with his parenting is wearing thin too. I don't want to pull the old "my way is better" argument, and I want him to develop his own parenting style, but I also don't want to see it all go horribly wrong. The thing that gets me most is that he never tells Charlotte to do anything. He always asks... "Do you want to brush your teeth now? Are you ready for jammies? Will you go bye-bye with Daddy?" My style is more like, "It's time to brush your teeth now. Would you like to use the green toothbrush or the pink one tonight?" I give her choices, but they both accomplish what needs to be done, while C's "choice" is simply yes or no when a no is not really an option.

Anyhow, they're out on errands now, and I suggested he could stop somewhere for lunch if they wanted to since they won't be back until a few minutes after lunch time at the earliest. I suspect Charlotte will fall asleep on the way home and her afternoon nap will be completely messed up. They could have left 45 minutes earlier except that C kept asking Charlotte if she was ready to get dressed, ready to brush her teeth, if she wanted to put on her shoes, if she wanted to go bye-bye...

Maggie, on the other hand, is amazing. She sleeps. She eats. She poops and pees. Then she sleeps some more. She does not object to sleeping alone in her bassinet, although I've only put her in it when she's already asleep. She was awake most of last night, nursing every 90 minutes or so. She only cries when she's hungry or has a soiled diaper. When she's awake and not eating (a rarity), she looks around with her big midnight eyes and makes little smacking noises with her lips. She's in the bassinet right now, and has been sleeping peacefully since I put her there more than an hour ago.

I need to go put my feet up before she wakes up and I need to walk around the house again.