big week

First, there's some good news in IF-land this week...

Gil introduced Trinity to the world- congratulations to the happy family!

Murgdan got a BFP, and will have a confirming beta on Monday. Hurray for Murgdan and perseverance!

I hope the success that these two have finally found continues to inspire and motivate others who are still TTC. I know each of our situations is unique, but it helps to see success around us. It's a comfort to see someone succeed. It CAN be done!

On the personal front, I had my first appointment with my midwife. I was a little surprised in some ways, but pleased all-in-all and pretty comfortable with my choice at this point. Firstly, the office was one massive advertisement. There were photographs of pregnant bellies and newborns and families displayed on every wall (even in the exam rooms), along with business cards and brochures for some photographer. There were "informative" posters in the exam room for various forms of birth control, all manufactured by one drug company (except for the condoms, I think). I was given a 10-pound "goody-bag" filled with ad-filled publications- parenting magazines, healthy-living guides, book lists, coupons, etc. I guess I've joined a new demographic that's notorious for excessive spending. Yippee. Can't wait to see who they've sold my address and newly-pregnant status to. I was tempted to find another practice. But then I met my midwife. The other surprise, which shouldn't have been (I guess) was the number of bumps and babies and spouses in the waiting room. It's a completely different atmosphere from the RE's office.

Oh- and the scale... shocker there, too. According to their scale, I weight 10 full pounds more than my home scale tells me every morning. My home scale, which agreed with the RE's scale when I was weighed 2 days before ER, and which has been telling me I'm down 4 pounds overall since ER. As if that weren't bad enough, I'm an inch shorter than anyone's ever measured before. I wonder how much shorter I can be before I need to correct my driver's license. My next appointment will be in another of their offices, closer to work (4 miles away!). I'm curious if it'll agree with my home scale or yesterday's office.

The practice includes 6 physicians and 2 midwives. Any one of them might be involved in my delivery, as it all depends on who happens to be on call when the time comes. I suppose that's standard, since no one can be on-call 24/7. It has me seriously considering finding a doula, though, so that I can have one-on-one attention consistently throughout my labor. The midwife I met yesterday appears to be pregnant. It's not socially acceptable to ask, and I couldn't tell if her dress was maternity-wear or just fashionably shirred below the empire waist. It should be obvious by our next appointment in just over 3 weeks. If she's showing, then I suspect she's at least a couple of months ahead of me, but I'll need to ask her how much maternity leave she plans to take. Not that it matters, I suppose, since the odds are only 50/50 that I'd see her anyhow... IF I labor during the work week, because midwives aren't on-call on weekends.

Anyhow, she was great. Before beginning an exam, she gave me her spiel on nutrition and exercise. Then she gave me the chance to ask as many questions as I wanted. We talked for over 30 minutes, and at no point did it seem that she was in a rush to move on to another patient or get my appointment over with. She explained the sorts of genetic testing available to me since I'm over 35 (we're taking the bloodwork & u/s approach for now... non-invasive, and potentially revealing). We chatted about birthing options, and the fact that I really have no idea what will work for me. She gave me a list of books and a video that might help me understand what's available. She assured me that her practice, and the hospital they work with, resort to medical interventions only when necessary or specifically requested by the patient (i.e. pain medication). She spent a good ten minutes trying to find the baby's heart beat with a doppler, to no avail, but all the time repeating that 10 weeks is still early for doppler and that a tipped uterus would make it essentially impossible to hear so soon. She didn't mention that my being a wee bit overweight wasn't helping with the doppler, and for that I am grateful... especially after the scale incident.

Then, she did a standard gyn exam and figured out that my uterus really is tipped, and considerably so. It's also way off-center. I suspect my lopsidedly hyperstimulated ovaries may have contributed... my uterus is off to the right, and my left ovary was the big performer. Apparently, none of that is a problem as she proclaimed that everything was sized appropriately and appeared to be progressing smoothly, so the lack of HB was a non-issue. She's confident we'll hear it next time, at just under 14 weeks. I would have cried (remember- I really need to hear or see that heartbeat... I've read Susan's and Mo's blogs...), but the nuchal translucency u/s is in just two weeks. I am again erring on the side of optimism and refusing to acknowledge that anything bad could happen. I can make it through two more weeks, especially as long as I continue to feel hungover and exhausted.

Today, I went in for an OB panel blood draw and met with even more convenience now that I'm associated with a practice and hospital in my neighborhood. Instead of driving an hour from home, thirty minutes from work, to have blood drawn, I drove 4 miles from my office to the lab in the same building as my midwife's usual office and was back to work before anyone even noticed I'd left. Seriously- no new emails or voice messages waiting when I returned.

Other big news? Well, I am officially cancelling the insurance that has paid for this year's IF treatments. The policy provided by C's union covers pregnancy, no matter how we got here, so I don't need the additional coverage any more. It's a huge financial relief to drop that monthly expense, especially as we fear that lay-offs might come early this year. We're hoping that C will be employed at least through Halloween, but you never know. He's looking into returning to a career as an long-haul truck driver, which could mean being away from home for a week or two at a time... possibly longer on occasion. I'd miss him. But, to be completely honest (and sometimes he does read this blog), I think I'd get more housework done if I were home alone once in a while. As a trucker, he'd be able to take time off when the baby comes, too, without jeopardizing his job.

And finally, we're done with crinone! If I can stay awake, maybe C and I will get romantic again soon. Yippee!