I have a hard time thinking of things to say just now, in light of Sprogblogger's and Mo and Will's recent losses. I feel like the unworthy winner of some really big, life-altering prize. I did nothing to earn this or to deserve it any more than they did. And any minute now, this pregnancy could be taken away. I have an u/s scheduled for tomorrow morning, at precisely the 8-week mark. I hope to clearly see the heartbeat again, and to learn that little Ishka has caught up with expectations after measuring a day behind at the first u/s.
I had toyed with the thought of telling a few more people if tomorrow goes well, but that was before I heard about Susan and Mo & Will. They were farther along than I am. I'm older than they are. We're not telling anyone else until Labor Day, at the earliest. I'll be a few days short of 12 weeks at that point. I guess there's really no point at which this becomes a sure thing, but the longer I'm pregnant, the more attached I become to this life growing inside me and the more support we'll need to handle a loss.
But, that's enough dwelling on the bad side of what-if. This might work. I'm still enjoying constant morning-sickness. Not the earth-shattering kind. I just feel like I'm going through the longest hangover I've ever had. Food in general is not at all appealing, but I only feel normal while eating. I haven't the patience nor the stomach to actually cook anything, so I filled the freezer with frozen meals. I realize now why I never bought saltines before- I just don't like them, but I've munched them dutifully when the thought of popping another preggie pop drop in my mouth was more unsettling than the flavorless crunch of the cracker. I ordered a variety of ginger candies, which should have arrived yesterday, but FedEx has no record of picking up the shipment so who knows when I'll actually see them. I sent a pathetic appeal for expedited shipping to the company yesterday, explaining that morning sickness + pregnancy hormones = me crying when there was no package for me. They haven't responded. (Just checked FedEx- the package was finally picked up and should be delivered next week... I guess my appeal fell on deaf ears.)
And to end on a truly positive note, IrishNYC gave birth to a beautiful, red-headed baby girl last Thursday. This does sometimes work. IFfers do sometimes see dreams come true.
4 years ago