As I mentioned quite a while ago, my MIL and sisters-in-law threw my bridal shower before C and I got married. I don't believe it occurred to my mother to throw the shower, and she didn't help with the planning or anything else. As far as whom to invite, my MIL simply sent an invitation to every female on the guest list. My mother isn't rude or negtlectful or anything like that. She simply doesn't seem to understand social norms with respect to that sort of celebration. It really never occurred to her that she might be expected to throw a party to celebrate her daughter's upcoming wedding. Well, not so much "expected" to do it, but that she should want to, or should at least consider it.
Here we are now, 7 weeks before we expect to meet Ishkabibble. Traditionally, a baby shower is thrown 1-2 months before the due date by either close friends of the mom-to-be or by her sister or mother. My closest friends live pretty far away... NJ and TX as a matter of fact. My sister is in FL (and as socially clueless as my mother). I do have local friends, mostly the wives of C's friends as well as my sisters-in-law.
I don't believe a shower is in the works for me. I haven't heard a peep from anyone about a shower. No one has asked when I'm free. No one has asked who I'd like to invite. A few people asked if we'd registered anywhere, and I know my father and his sister (my godmother) went on a shoppping spree at BRU, but at this point it seems fairly clear that there will be no organized party to celebrate the biggest event of our lives. I'm disappointed.
Just writing that, I had to hide in the bathroom, twice, to blot at my eyes and blow my nose because I'm crying like a pathetic simp over a party I already predicted would not happen. I thought I was OK with that. Maybe it's the hormones, or maybe I'm really not OK with it. I just don't know. Right now, though, I know that I DO want to have that recognition of our milestone. I was invited last year to a baby shower for a teenager who got knocked up by her boyfriend in their senior year. It was unplanned, but it was celebrated. And here we are, with one of the most non-unplanned pregnancies possible, after years of stress and frustration and sadness and a mountain of debt, with no celebration planned.
Yeah, pathetic. I don't understand why it bothers me so. I'd be tempted to throw my own baby shower, except that would be publicly pathetic and I like to keep this side of myself discreetly hidden. So, I'll sneak back to the bathroom to un-redden my eyes and go about the next 7 weeks as though it really doesn't matter.
5 years ago