Well, we had our little visit with the social worker. I told her I really wasn't sure why we were there, and she nodded in agreement and said, "I don't see why anyone should have to prove they want to become parents." Is that why we were there? I could have understood, perhaps, a consultation with someone versed in the issues surrounding IVF and the use of donor sperm. I could accept that unforeseen, unplanned obstacles or crises might threaten a marriage or the relationship with the resulting child. But "proving" that we wanted to be parents???! What the?!!
Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't the social worker's fault. She knew I'd been referred by my RE, but she didn't know exactly why. She is not an expert on IVF- or donor sperm-related social issues. She's just a social worker who, 11 years ago, happened to undergo a successful IVF cycle with the same office where my RE practices.
Anyhow, C and I chatted with her about our families for about 35 minutes. We told her how we had learned our current male-factor diagnosis and what a horrid year 2008 had been. We told her that we were completely open with our friends (true) and family (not entirely true) about our efforts to conceive, and plan to be open and honest with our children about their origins. She again stated that "you should not be required to prove that you want to be parents," advised us to exercise regularly in anticipation of needing to keep up with a child in our advancing years, and declared us finished with the social worker requirement.
All in all, a somewhat bizarre appointment. But if that's one of the hoops we need to jump through on the way to getting pregnant, OK. So many hoops done, who knows how many left.
5 years ago