Halfway there... one more IUI and we officially enter the TWW. I'm hoping THIS is the one. Of course, I've hoped that twice before. I kind of snapped at C a little this afternoon. He called as I was driving back to work from the insem and told me that "it's all in your attitude. Keep positive." To which I replied that, while I believe a positive attitude does help, there's far more to it than that and I don't want anyone insinuating that a lack of success is MY fault for having the wrong attitude.
I am thinking positively. I have been since we tossed the condoms and began this whole process. I know that at some point we will have a child. I do not know, however, how we will get there. Maybe this is the route that will work. Maybe it isn't. If I were not a realist, I would not survive the ups and downs we've been enduring. So please don't tell me that my attitude will determine the outcome of this attempt. It's not realistic, and I don't need that kind of pressure or blame. I am hopeful. I am certain that *something* will work. Enough said on that topic.
As for today's insem... well, the MW said they've had much success and many pregnancies this month, so maybe that will rub off on me. I took Cl0mid this month, and I can feel something going on in the vicinity of my ovaries, so I'll believe that the drugs helped. It's a new donor, prewashed, so there should be a higher volume of motile, viable swimmers than with the frozen-thawed-washed specimens we used in our first two attempts. She made no comments today, though, on how the specimen looked. It was very busy at the clinic, so maybe she didn't have time. Or maybe there's no real opportunity when the specimen needs only to be thawed, not thawed and washed.
Tomorrow, C will go with me to the clinic for insem #2. Maybe we'll go out to lunch, but I really don't want to dwell on it. I hope there are loads of distractions (good ones) between now and 10/24. I don't want to wake up every day wondering if I'm feeling imaginary symptoms. Here goes!
4 years ago