CD22, 8dp3dt

Still nothing. No symptoms, false or otherwise, unless a kink in my neck counts. I have one pee stick left, from when I caved and bought a super-cheap 2-pack last cycle (I hadn't confessed to that yet, had I?). I'm planning to use it on Saturday morning. The official blood test will be Tuesday.

This cycle's drug ensemble:
Gonal-F EFF- 187.5IU CD3-6; 75IU CD7; 37.5IU CD8
HCG- 10,000U CD9

Added to the mix when we converted to IVF:
Doxycycline- CD11-14
Medrol- CD13-15
Crinone- CD13-...
Estrace- CD14-29

ER on CD11.
ET on CD14.

CD17, 3dp3dt

The bloating is pretty much gone now, and I am back to my usual belt notch. I slept straight through each of the last two nights after more than a week of discomfort- and anxiety-induced insomnia. The doxycycline and medrol are gone, so I'm down to just estrace and crinone every day. I feel pretty normal now.

I've had a couple of odd dreams, now that I'm sleeping enough to dream. Last night's was in a bus or train station. Everyone else was running around, late for a ride to NYC. I was barefoot, but unconcerned and early for a trip to Boston. The fare was $1 and the cashier was demanding that at least part of the fare be paid in change, which made absolutely no sense. Rather than argue with her, I smugly handed her two quarters and a dollar bill. Of course, she had to give the quarters back to me. She thanked me for using change, and I laughed to myself at how easy it is to please irrational people. There was more to it, but I don't remember the rest. Mostly, I recall feeling calm, collected and in control amidst a crowd of anxious and panicky people.

The next challenge will be to decide on an appropriate date for a HPT. I'm leaning toward Saturday, 4/18, CD26, 12dp3dt.

ten, seven, and five

We transferred all three embryos (10-, 7-, and 5-cells) today. I'm taking it easy ... watched a little TV, and will take a nap now (to make up for staying up almost all night worrying we'd have nothing to transfer). I'm planning to go to work tomorrow, but will avoid the stairs as much as I can and will basically just sit at my desk all day. No different than if I stayed home, really. I still feel pretty bloated from the ER, and I suspect that some of the medications are responsible for last night's insomnia. Generally, I feel good. We'll have our beta on 4/21, so now I just need to keep on hoping.

more than two; fewer than four

Three eggs fertilized.

When I heard they'd retrieved eleven, I was concerned that they might do the assisted hatching on too many embryos and I'd either be coerced into transferring more than I'd be comfortable with, or some would be wasted because I think you can't freeze an embie that's had a hole cut in it. I coached C on exactly what I wanted to ask the embryologist, or what I wanted him to ask if I weren't home to take the phone call. I needn't have worried. We have three fertilized eggs as a result of this cycle. I'm thankful for those three. There will be nothing to freeze, and that's OK. I just want something to transfer on Monday.

11 on CD11

Retrieval today went without a hitch and 11 eggs are now exposed to sperm. Tomorrow afternoon, they'll let us know how many fertilized. On Sunday, they'll tell us what time we should report for Monday's transfer.

C is incredibly optimistic this cycle, repeatedly saying, "Everything is moving along like clockwork," and things like that. I am optimistic, too. But I have to bite my tongue every time he quips something like that. My instinct is to tell him that everything was like clockwork for each of our failed IUI cycles, too. I have no more and no less hope for this cycle than any other. Except maybe the first one, when I thought our only hurdle was getting our hands on some sperm. I thought sperm was our magic bullet. I think C believes IVF is.

Anyhow, things look good so far. Eleven eggs on a converted OI/IUI cycle is more than I hoped for. The embryologist said the norm is about 70% fertilization, but he's seen everything from 0 to 100. I'm just hoping that we have something to transfer. A couple to freeze would be gravy. But for the moment, my focus on on the transfer.

Recovery-wise, I feel pretty good. A bit sluggish bloated and crampy, but otherwise normal.

Oh, and the hcg shot? Well, I am incredibly grateful that my husband has a sister-in-law who happens to be a nurse and who didn't mind me showing up in her kitchen at 1:15 am.

jump to the head of the line

Holy crap- we're doing IVF. Hcg shot tonight- intramuscular, because now it's an IVF cycle, not an IUI. Eleven follies- 3 on the right and 8 on my left (no wonder my left ovary hurts!). Estrogen is 1181... I don't know what that means. Retrieval will be some time on Friday, 34 hours after the trigger.

I'm not prepared! I've read blogs written by women undergoing IVF, but since I was stuck on IUIs for at least another cycle, I didn't memorize anything. I know the basics as far as what will be done procedurally, but I feel pretty clueless right now. Hopefully, tomorrow's meeting with the RE will answer all my unasked questions (I'm not even sure what to ask).

I'm so nervous/anxious/excited that I am shaking. It's a very good thing C isn't already back to work.

sub-Q

A load was lifted from me this morning. I headed to the RE's office again this morning for another blood draw and ultrasound. I asked the phlebotomist if she could point out where I am supposed to inject the Hcg and she declared that the trigger shot for an IUI is subcutaneous, not intramuscular. Hurray!

There's still a chance that this might turn into an IVF cycle. Seven measurable follicles, all of similar size raises the risk of conceiving high order multiples as a result of an uncontrolled IUI. Then again, insurance may not see this as a "glass half full" scenario and could deny coverage for an IVF at this time. In which case, we're as good as cancelled. We can swing the price of the extra insurance, but not the cost of an IVF. Especially when we know that an insurance-covered IVF is on the horizon, just one more OI/IUI cycle away if we need it.

I don't know when the decision will be made, but I hope it's soon. It's not the prospect of undergoing IVF that has me tense; it's the not knowing what we're doing.