Sitting at my desk at work. Phone rings. I answer. It's my midwife, and she has the results of the second round of blood work related to the testing for Downs Syndrome. I brace myself, but really am not at all prepared for what she has to say. Just a month ago, she told me our odds were 1 in 150. There was no caveat or stipulation that another blood test could reveal something completely different. I thought we were in the clear, and in spite of my age we'd have a healthy "normal" child.
The baseline chance for someone my age having a child with DS is 1 in 47.
My odds, one in sixteen.
Why can't I focus on the fact that this means we have a 15/16 , or better than 93%, chance of our child NOT having DS?
Why am I thinking that this is so horrible- that our potentially only shot at having children won't turn out perfectly? What's so wrong with having a child with DS? Why am I thinking that if our child does have DS, we won't want to try to have a second child? Am I a bad person for wanting to have a perfectly healthy child, and for considering DS to be a defect?
Do I want to do an amnio?
Do I want to know for sure before I give birth?
What affect would knowing ahead of time have on how we treat this pregnancy and this child?
The Level 2 u/s is even more important now. Not that they can diagnose DS from an u/s, but apparently there are certain indicators that can be seen. We'll receive genetic counselling from an MFM specialist, and I can have an amnio done if we want it. I'm trying not to think too far ahead until we have more information.
I feel as though we just got too lucky and this is the price we have to pay. With every windfall comes an unexpected expense.
And I can't call C right now because he's essentially on a job interview today, all day.
4 years ago